Hole..Ahhhh

Como estas bitches? (that's for you Mary)

I just wanted to make sure everyone knew I was actively participating in Hispanic Heritage Month. I have been trying to catch the most current episodes of Handy Manny! (One of my favs!)

I'm not really sure what else I can do... I'm really trying!

All I can say is Thank You Terminator! Thank you for making up the term hasta la vista!

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Did I mention it is National Sarcastic Awareness Month?

goodnite

I'm getting dizzzzy

My nephew Tylers pic on the family blog got me thinking.....

Do you think if NASCAR rules said the drivers had to switch directions immediately at the races half way point, then more people would watch? I would.

My neck gets sore from looking at all those left turns <<<<<<<<<<<<<

Go Ahead, Ask!

I would like to take a moment to let everyone know how lost I would be without Megan and wish her a truly happy Wife Appreciation Day! Lovin U!


Welcome to September! Or shall I say Septembre. Seventh month of the early Roman calender. Speaking of calenders, 12/21/2012 is the end of the Mayan calender. If I don't get a chance to see each of you all out there before this time, I wish you the best doomsday possible!





As long as I'm celebrating holidays, let me axe you this... If this is International People Skills Month, why are so many people acting like morons?





Do you think it's a coincidence it is also One-on-One Month as well as Pleasure Your Mate Month?





I know... busy month huh?





HOW BOUT IT! IT'S DEAF AWARENESS WEEK! AM I YELLING? YES! I AM!

I observe in my own way..alright?

I think that's enough partying for now.

Happy B-days to Mary, Dustin, Rose, Beth, Sahnna, and Gramma V!

Dinner time! Late

OH.... I almost forgot, tomorrow please observe World Alzheimers Day.
(yep... I did)

I Stepped Away

I'm alive.

Lets talk about Rehab. I am referring to a music group who has the song out called Bartender. This may make me sound old, but the lyrics and message are very inappropriate. With that said, I really like this song. I would put it in my play list, but I realize the mixed company that may log on.... BUT WAIT! I found a clean version that is a collaboration with Hank Williams Jr.! It's pretty good and you can scroll on my play list to find it if it doesn't pop up when you log on.

Admit you are HAPPY! It's August. Plus... It's Be Kind To Humankind Week!
Oh Oh Oh! The 29th is More Herbs Less Salt Day! If I meet a Herb I will shake his salty hand. My best to the people in Utah.. you know the ones... (by the lake). salt reference only..

We have been riding a few times in the last few months. I'm super happy with my new quad.

Bout ready to install my in ground sprinkler system.

Gunna go see Poison again on Saturday. I am actually going to be screening the ladies to determine who can go backstage. Should be fun. Brett trusts me.

Let me give you a little update on how my job is going! Now you know I can't give out names and details and such.... but..... people keep falling down. That's about it for now. Check back!

Is it bad when I cringe after hearing there is going to be a bicycle event in Salem tomorrow near the hospital? Where I go several times a day at work. I try deep breaths and patience. I would like to get a bicycle myself, so I can ride in bike lanes while I follow the laws of the road. If I happen to have to ride in a traffic lane, I will check my spedometer to make sure I am near the speed of appropriate traffic flow. If I am in a bike lane, I will make sure to remind myself that a painted stripe on the pavement is not a force field. Please please please stop me when I get that CRAZY! urge to ride on winding 2 lane roads for fun. Sometimes I get that hankering to teach cars a lesson and show my dominance in a 55mph zone! sorry

I have more, but I'm tired. It is imperative that I receive ample rest so that I may function as a whole being in the hours to come.

Quick Question

If you have a festival at a park with a ton of people, what are the odds of getting hit by bird poop? It's a park with a lot of trees and a lot of birds.

What about squirrel attacks.....?

Poor Puff

Happy B-day to my Bro Eric!

I just added Puff to my playlist and forgot what a sad song it was. :(


Congrats Bustin! (beth and dustin)


Here is my new baby! (it's quite a bit more powerful then the last)

I strongly encourage anyone interested to ride it, even if you have never ridden before. You quickly become done being nervous and just have a heckofalotof fun! I must apologize to Jenny if Eric gets his own and is out of the house every weekend.... (thanks for coming guys!)

BTW Guy... I am a beer pong master. You shall acknowledge me as such anytime you see me.

I would like to thank Mom and Dad for the annual birthday song! Unfortunately this year I was not in cell range, but the voicemail was nice! Megan thanks you also!

Tonight I finally got to watch my DVR of the final Hell's Kitchen. This I found to be ironic for the following reason: today is National Personal Chefs Day! Ya! Who can afford that!? Sweet!...

I should also point out that tomorrow, 7/17, is Get to Know you Customers Day! The level at which I get to know my customers in the 30-60 minuted I know them is really quit amazing as I sit here and think about it. Anyway, the more you relate to your customer, the better the experience for both sides. (no matter what your personal feelings happen to be at the time, or what time of the day, or how your own day has gone)

Trial by Media is really starting to frustrate me. Anybody that any of us come into contact with could make one false statement and we would be automatically guilty. The media doesn't come right out and say it, but interview a couple of WT ignorants who will assume guilt and put it on the air........ ughh (can you tell the news is on right now?)

Month of July in a nutshell..

Air Conditioning Appreciation, Cell Phone Courtesy, Hemochromatosis Screening Awareness (don't F around), National Bikini Month (or lack there of..sorry), National Black Family Month Yo!, National Hot Dog Month, National Wheelchair Beautification Month (i don't make this up), Womans Motorcycle Month (are women allowed to drive now? oh geez)

There are many more but I am tired of typing.

Busy Month

Here is the busy month..
National Baked Bean Month! Mmmmmm
National Ice Cream Month! Mmmmm
National Tennis Month! Who G A S?
Anti-Boredom Month! yawn
Hitchhiking Month! ( you are dead )
Read an Almanac Month! (when was the Boniville dam built?)

Oh! did I forget? Today is Tom Sawyer Face-Painting Day!

Happy Indie Day! Good weather, fun parades, freedom!

Don't ride your ATV alone!

I got nothing else. Just happy to edumacate you!

Functional

OK... here's the deal. I went to Mexico. I made some mistakes. I avoided arrest thanks to my ODL. I ended up with a very sore foot. The Emergency Room was gaurded by very heavily armed officials, so I didn't go inside. I am not going to the doctor here because I worked full time in an ER for 3 years and I know what they would say... nothing.

If you see me gimping, please be patient. I'm not looking for sympathy, just stability!

ALMOST FREE! JUST FOR YOU! TODAY ONLY!

Got 300 bucks stolen from me down there. My fault for leaving my backpack at the street bar when I went across the street to the cigar bar. I don't even like cigars. I got the backpack back though! woohoo

I don't think either one of the Hell's Kitchen finalists are capable of running a restaraunt.

The Soup is one of (if not the) funniest shows on TV.

I started watching a movie today. It was called Cherry 2000. Any takers? Not porn by the way. I could not finish it despite the fact that Lawerence Fishborne(?) and Melanie Griffen were in it.

The Red Sox lost tonight.

Word to your Mutha!

Whole-La

Quick note to welcome myself back from PV. Good times and gradually decreasing pain!

Went golfing today. Yes.. 18 holes on a record setting heat day. (for a good cause)

A bathroom leak while we were gone has ruined part of the wall in the bathroom and some of the laminate flooring in the hallway.

We got a new couch. It's big. One piece (it's a 4 piece sectional) does not match the others. We waited 6 months for this couch and now we have to wait for a furniture inspector to come confirm it's not all right. Will we have to wait 6 more months for the right piece? It's very nice and cumfertibel.

Rock Band came out for the Wii. We'll put on a concert and invite you.

Why is Rob not in the recent Mattress World commercials? It's been just Sherry. I hope everything is OK.

Why does the word "pupil" seem so strange. Why does it have 2 totally unrelated meanings?

Feelin Bad

I haven't been here for a long time. My wife told me this. Sometimes I find it hard to write to myself. I obviously amuse myself, but I can do that anytime, anyplace. Maybe I go in spurts about my INCREDIBLE PASSION for this blog.... :)



Happy Banana Split Day! BSD!

Thanks Banana Ben! Thumbs up to you as well! Yeah!

Today is also 6/7/8. For that I give you a BIG 9/10/11..... hmmph


Sorry, feelin pretty tired tonight. I've had some pain for an entire week and decided that I needed to take care of it at 0430 this morning. Oh.. wait.. that wasn't me. Musta been a bad dream... ( yeah, i got off work this morning )

Today I had issues with freeway mergers AGAIN. I know... I can only say this so many times... Onramps and Offramps are designed l o n g for a reason. If I'm not mistaken, this is so you may excelerate or decelerate to the appropriate speed without disrupting the current flow of traffic. Did I mention that merging traffic does NOT have the right of way? .... sorry done for now..

Josh shaved his head. We finished the wall. Thank you all that assisted. It costs too much to fill the Dino-Mobile. We are getting a new couch. We're going to ride quads tomorrow. MarioCart is pretty fun. The Dark Knight is looking pretty good. Brownes Towne Lounge in Salem has Wii on projection screen. Phil got a 4-wheeler. Sometimes there's nothing we can do.. that's life.

late

Purple Tounge

My wife planned and executed an awesome couples baby shower for Bustin. (Beth and Dustin) I think everyone had fun and Bustin got some cool stuff. Cool gifts included the Mike and Angela Diaper cake and Marys interview questions.

I couldn't sleep last night so I turned on the TV. I was fortunate enough to see a reality show featuring Denise Richards. OK, maybe fortunate is not the right word. I really could do without knowing about her private life. Watched it anyway.

National Grape Popsicle Day! Keep on a suckin!

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BL Lime is pretty good. Reminds me of Mexico. Spud Bros Pizza was good. It's by Target.

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We got Guitar Hero 3 yesterday. I'm hitting about 90% on the easy setting. It is very stressful and the songs are great. I'm a little irritated how much a 2nd guitar costs, but it would be fun to have 2 paople play. They don't make Rock Band for Wii yet, but when they do I will start playing Rock, doing drugs and gettin all the chicks up in here!......

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Took another 50SqFt out of my yard today and offloaded a yard of gravel into the trench. Probably lay some more stones Friday.

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There's your update

Woo! I Mean Wii

I need a break so I thought I would type. So far today I have gone for a run, strength trained and Hoola Hooped!










Actually, I went out and got Wii Fit today and am trying to master everything. Unfortunately it appears I have terrible balance and wobble too much. (but I don't fall down!)

I gotta give a shout out to my Yoga instructor for being so patient with me. She asked me if I tripped very often. What's that supposed to mean?

Alls I'm sayin is that Archie may win AI, but Cook is gunna be a star.

Happy National Strawberries n' Cream Day!

Well, back to my step aerobics class!

Enough Said!

HA!

Too bad it's not really a joke.......

I like Beavers and Racoons!

They both have tails, right? Tall tall tales.... (thanks for calling Josh)

Persistant Megan found us a Wii! We play alot. I went pro on bowling. Then not pro. Actually I'm no good. Megan always wins. Sometimes I cry. Life is good!

I want to thank Dad, Mel, and Seth for putting my up my new retaining wall in the front yard. Thank you Denise, Megan and Kathy for doing everything else while we were acting like we knew what we were doing....

K.. See ya

Dirt Don't Hurt

I Roto-tilled the front yard today. I wonder if the dirt gets irritated. It's just sittin there minding it own goshdarn business, when.... BAM! Blades slice through it's skin and toss it's guts all over the place! When the dust clears, all that is left is a tragic brown landscape of what used to be a thriving lawn eco-system. Displaced worms and orphan dirt clods reel from the destruction of the TillMaster 9000. :(

Since Roto sounds like Robo, remember the first Robocop when the guy gets covered in Toxic Waste? Then the car comes through and.... gross.

The Cake concert was alot of fun last night. They basically sound the same live as on CD. They are certainly not shy about expressing their environmental views.....

It's National Nutty Fudge Day. Fut Nudge it, that sounds good.

Our Explorer has a low fuel warning. It didn't work this morning at 1:30 while driving down I-5. I knew I was low, but I was waiting for the warning so I could see how many miles I could get on the tank. It didn't even sputter, just died.

The good thing is that my Gaurdian Angel really likes Cake, so he was riding along with us. The car died at the exact last moment I could take the Woodburn exit. Somehow I had just the right amount of momentum to go up the ramp, run the red light, hang a rosco, coast to the next rosco, round two more corners and end up stopped right next to the Unleaded pump at a 24 hour gas station.

After the nice gentleman filled the car, he told me I needed to start riding a bicycle to save gas.

As we parted ways and I drove off into darkness leaving the fueling station in my rearview mirror, I couldn't stop thinking about something the Petroleum Insertion Specialist said to me....
"Well, you have enough gas now.."

Yes, service attendant, I do. I have enough gas now.... thank you

sleep deprived, out

Nostalgia

Sometimes you want to go back to places you have been. Sometimes you want to forget.

Funny how songs or people or sayings or TV or anything can take you back to something you thought would never come up again. What if? What would have happened? I'm sure you have all heard Garth... Unanswered Prayers.

It's on my playlist on the bottom. I encourage you to open it and listen to the lyrics. It reminds me..

Forgive me for being soft, but I know nobody else (except my wife) that would put up with me. I know I'm kinda moody and I'm also not very emotional. I listen, but I have a bad memory. I need help keeping track of my own schedule. If I was single I would probably be curled up on a sidewalk freezing to death. Ohhh.. and nobody would laugh at my jokes.

Late!

Glue

For the second time in 3 years a Kentucky Derby horse had to be put down because of injuries sustained during the race. I'm not big into horses, but I sure don't like this statistic. What do you think?

Frozen Pizza

So.... who's got the most AWESOME wife? Ummmm... ME! She has a hard time keeping a secret and told me she has Cake tickets for next week in Seattle! WTF! How often do you get to see those guys? BTW.. we used Cake during our wedding ceremony, you can relive the song if you scroll down to my playlist and select " Love you Madly".

I haven't been single for.... oh..., 12 years or so. Thank Goodness! I realized tonight (actually I already knew) when I have the evening to myself, I enjoy the fine quisine of frozen pizza and beer while I watch baseball. Imagine if I did that everynight..... hmmmm... :)

Here's the problem tonight. There's no Baseball game on, so imagine my excitement when I saw college vollyball on the schedule! MENS.... suck.

I feel like I got alot done today. I always feel better about my day when I'm actually tired in the evening. I got very frustrated today with some things I was working on and told Dad I felt like everything was feeling like more trouble and taking too much effort today then it should. He reminded me (sometimes we need that) that even our worst days are nothing compared to some peoples. Can't argue with fact.

It's May Turd! I mean Third! It seems my prayers have come true. Today is the National Day of Prayer! Alls I got to say to that is AMEN! I just pray that there will be one next May third....

I tried Sushi last night. It was ok.

Two dryer related fires in the same day in Salem is scary. It actually happens alot more then reported. My dryer both SUCKS and has a timer issue. The kind where the timer doesn't work. I should fix that.

Congrats to Brandon on the tentative new career change! You know what cops and firemen have in common???? They both wanna be firemen!

Krista.. Re: your comment on bikes. Yes. Maybe. I don't know. I know! Special bicycle insurance! So when they do something stupid in a traffic lane (and they will) and get hit, everything will be covered. Their medical care, their bike, your car, court fees when they try to sue you, your therepy after you run over another person, etc.... Don't get me wrong, I would love to have a bike and be able to ride it everywhere. I would NOT pretend I'm a car. Anyway..

If facts support a stereotype, why can't it be politically correct?

Like Sand Through an Hourglass..

In the words of Mel.. I'll tell you what..

This weekend was all about hanging out with old friends, making new friends, and tearing up the dunes!

What a great time down at Spinreel. Thanks to Mom and Dad Bushman for the motorhome. Brandon and Haley were awesome to invite us. Megan got to hook up with some riding partners. I got to expand my skills. Josh got hooked on quads.

It was good to see Kara and meet Rich and the rest of the fam. Also cool to meet the Mumeys!

I can't really say much more except I can't wait to do it again!

I may or may not have ended up in this position a couple times.....

Everytime I watch Family Guy I get surprised. I laugh out loud then feel guilty for finding some of those things so funny. It is basically a reflection of what most of us are thinking, but will or cannot say out loud. Plus, it's in cartoon form. That means it's all in jest... right? I would love to spend a night in a pub with the writers of that show. Doller PBR anyone?

Being courtious when you're driving is fine, but if it's your turn....GO. Sometimes trying to be nice confuses everybody, throws the pattern out of whack and holds everybody up.

Speaking of traffic, have I brought up bicycles lately? I probably shouldn't. OK.. here's the deal.

If you want to ride your bike in the traffic lane, you sure as heck better be able to go the speed limit. If there is no bike lane, use the sidewalk. If there are peds it's your responsibility to make sure you don't inconvenience them or hit them. My V10 will use MORE dino if I have to slow down and wait for a time to pass you, then floor it to get back up to speed. :) Seriously.. they get hit on a road or intersection and bitch about bike safety.... Don't they have the advantage AND obligation of being more aware of their surroundings? They are outside, Right? Don't take it the wrong way.. we all have a responsibility, but C'MON! Heard enough?

Hey! Anybody interested in going on a bike ride on a two lane winding highway uphill? Sounds Fun! As Josh would say,"That gives me the Red Ass"

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No Whammy! No Whammy! ............ STOP!

I haven't felt good for several days. I try not to be grumpy. Daily obligations don't stop just because you don't feel like doing them. Today I had the worst sinus headache I can remember. This is the kind of headache I would have had to miss school or call in sick to work. I had to lay down twice so I wouldn't fall down. I know you don't give a spoon, but fork it.. it's my blog. I feel a little better tonght, at least functional.

AI is almost on... I gotta go. It's gotta be knappy head or hottie Brooke goin home. If I'm wrong, then you have witnessed a VERY rare phenomonon!

Late!

Cherries, Cake, and Cheese

I'm gettin the heat from Mary about posting. I don't wanna get the smack downed on me, so here are some words. I don't have much time.

I like a good cherry. I really like cheese. I love cake. Why don't I like Cherry Cheese Cake?


Happy CCC Day!

Late

U Wanna Hear?

Just so you know, or JSYK the playlist of music is at the bottom of this page. To the best of my knowledge everyone is able to manipulate (dirty word) what is playing. Currently it is set to random play, but if you don't like what you hear.. tough S. just kidding....

It is set for random play, there is alot of good music there. You have the power to change the song if don't like whats on. Don't hurt my feelins none. I have been trying to keep it clean despite the fact that I have favorite songs from the early hiphop/rap days . ( NWA, Easy-E, 2LiveCrew, etc.)

Megan often opens Marys site just to keep the music going. (BTW, nice work Mary) Feel free to do the same here. Alot of my favs, plus some satarical and fun stuff. Suggestions welcome!

To sum... not all songs family friendly. Change at will. Wait! listen first.. you might like...

Buck up

Nobody leaves comments but I'm looking for some help here.(really) I am having a really hard time finding a song. I beleive it is Chris LeDoux and he is making a pay phone call to his wife. He asks if he can bring a buddy home that has been beat down by the rodeo and is not physically capable of helping on the family farm. Sound familiar? Please help!

(If you are unfamiliar with Chris.. nevermind. I will pray for you.)


Was it George Strait?

Whoa! Easy!

Picture yourself in a boat on a river..... (sorry..Lucy in the Sky moment)

Picture Mount Hood. Now picture yourself standing at the base looking up with a shovel in your hand. Start digging one shovel load at a time. There are alot of rocks and hard clay. The weather changes in a heartbeat and suddenly you go from sun to baseball size hail. You know you have to keep digging. Your body says stop in agony but your mind knows you must keep pushing on. Your Full Throttle only takes you so far before you MUST resort to Tilt. Your muscles quiver and your head aches. The locals come to see what you are doing, yet have no shovels of their own. You believe you possibly have a broken bone in your pick axe swinging hand but pain is motivation, and you are not weak. Finally! Half the mountain is gone! You conquered Hood!

OK... maybe a bit of exaggeration, but not much...

The reason I have not been writing is because I have spent days digging in my yard to allow for a decorative retaining wall. I know... boring news. I have been so worn out at the end of the day that my fingies don't wanna type. My boss is a slave driver.


I don't like bird poop.

I'm also not a huge fan of Eggs Benedict. Happy National Eggs Benedict Day.
You know where eggs come from, ya?

Late

Pop Goes the Weasel

She's a woman. She is pregnant. It happens all the time. Get over it Oprah.

I came unbelievably close to crashing an ambulance yesterday. I even braced for the impact and can't figure out how it didn't happen. This WOMAN DRIVER... (yep, I said it :) swerved across two lanes of traffic on a one way street downtown Salem. She got so close I couldn't see her car out of my windshield or passenger window. I knew nobody was on my driver side and had to cross the lane next to me, which is where she ultimately ended up. This was right after dealing with my second suicide attempt patient of the day. Maybe she was trying to be the third.... cause I woulda won.

Since this is my second recent post regarding driving (and there could be many more where these came from) it is a good time to point out that driving is one of the most dangerous aspects of emergency work. Around 122 firefighter deaths in last 10 years related to crashes. NOT including EMS, Police, etc. Be safe!

Anybody else excited about the NKOTB reunion!? Have I already asked that? HA! OK..... not so much. But, Indiana Jones on the other hand....

Can you say Empanada? Mmmm Hey! It's National Empanada Day! An American celebration of a Spanish turnover! Hmmm. Odd.

To quote the great Esteban, "Take a look within your heart. It will benefit the community in which you live, our nation and our planet." (That's for you Josh)

Smell my Finger!

I'm killing my front yard today! I am excitited since I have wanted to do this for a while. The weather has just been too craddy. (those are upside down P's). My front yard is roughly 1500 square feet with alot of grass and a chronic weed problem. :) ..... Anyway, I plan on erecting a short retaining wall, may 2-3 stones high. I am also planning on leveling it a bit. Please don't feel obligated to come over while I am slaving away by myself. I do not like having help and many hands do not make light work. I know what I'm doing...... shaw...asif

Anybody got Sod connections?

Dead Grass! Get It? HA!

Today is National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day. This irritates me and I am going to do some more research about this. PB and Jelly are SO different, yet they have to share a day.

I don't think the little islander gal is going to make it very much longer on Idol. She has no chance of taking the whole thing. Aloha, or Sayonara, or whatever you say.

"Chiow" That is how you say "chill" when you can't hear very well.

I'm wishing Alison a speedy recovery from her last doctors appointment.....

I am boycotting Wheat hot dog buns. If you are eating a hot dog in the first place, who cares about a healthy bun? I mean, I like white buns and I cannot lie, You other bruthas can't deny, When a dog walks in with a wonder bread skin, and a pile of sour kraut, your gut rumbles, it tosses and tumbles, waitin for a piece of that bun! I'm hungry.

For some reason my post is not letting me create spaces between thoughts. That is why I have made highlights. I am sorry. I will try to fix.

Please Wake Me if I Stop Breathing!

Wow! Busy day! Where do I start?

It's Tater DayI had a VERY bad experience with potatoes some years back. I don't want to talk about it.

Another reason to celebrate is National Sleep Apnea Day!

Just remember.. I think therefore I am.

There is much more but I gotta run.

Luftballons

I have added Swing Out Sister to my playlist! Please tell me if you know who that is!
You may not know this but................
Wait for it...............

Megan crashed her car a few months ago. I know... big news.

Kidding aside, the whole situation sucked. We didn't feel the citation was appropriate for what happened. We decided she should fight the charge and hope for the best. The Judge explained that this was not a burden of proof case, but rather he just had to be swayed one way or the other. Needless to say, the OSP Trooper had more experience in dealing with judges then us. This particular Trooper was known to me as he was a previous Marion County Deputy. I worked with the SO starting at the age of 14 when I joined Search and Rescue. I also was familiar with him while I was a Police Cadet in Silverton and Stayton from ages 14-18. I also had contact with him numerous times in my 14 years at Sublimity Fire.

Not meaning to date myself. I know of the guy and I'm pretty sure he could pick me up out of a lineup. Anyway.. we went to the Nickel for dinner for the first time in 6 months, and guess who walks in right behind us with the fam.

The inital kneejerk reaction is to be bitter. I think we all need to remember that these people (law enforcement) do way more good for us then bad. If a citation and injury recovery is the price to pay for public safety, then..... (easy for me to say, huh.)

Although we don't always agree with things that affect us negatitively, (including fire codes) it is intended to help the greater good. Enough said from me bout that.

BTW, based soley on media reports, I count 14 fatalities from car wrecks in what.. 6 days? Lots of kids. Most, if not all, single vehicle crashes. Good thing they didn't kill strangers. Pray for them and their families. There is a commercial that says the roads are not filled with drivers, they are filled with people. I have to remind myself that all the time... A co-worker once told me that no matter how late I was, it was never worth my life. Thanks Eben.

Sorry for the downer post. JOB SECURITY... oooops, did I say that out loud.

OK.. Rock of Love II. WTF? Crazy Biotches! NufSaid!

Megan dog-sat this weekend. (I worked Fri & Sat) Barkley is a Yorkie. Cooper is a spoiled biotch who can't handle another biotch in her territory. Sorry Bark. As Tina would say.. you can't fix stupid! (in reference to MY dog) BTW, if I say that again sometime, don't take it personally.

I'm losing the work partner I've had for the last 6-8 months. I say what I think openly at work. I don't try to make other people mad. She handled my style and attitude well. She is probably very happy to be done with me.

Late!

Sorry

I posted a few days ago. I removed it. It wasn't bad. I just wasn't happy with it. Personal preference.

Thanks to everyone who participated in game night. Sorry I had to work the next day and disappeared to bed around 10. Actually, nobody probably noticed until I said something.

The Apprentice finale is 2 hours tonight. That sucks.

Lollipops were originally referred to as "stick candy." How original.

How can something be both "new" and "improved"?

I don't think rock radio stations should play a song just because a rock band sings it. Everclear has numerous pop songs, Linkin Park has slow diddys, etc... Not that these songs are bad, they just don't all belong lumped into the rock catergory based on the artist.

It is my honest opinion that the Deal or No Deal models shouldn't talk. Just stand there and open luggage. Don't act like you care. Don't cross your fingers. Don't act sad. If I was up there, (I'm on the standby list) I would be saying to myself "pick me, pick me." The sooner you get picked, the sooner you get to sit JOBUT down.

OK

I Should Keep It Shut

Do you ever feel bad at night about the way you have acted toward people?

For me, I sometimes wish I could take back attitude that I may or may not have intended to give off. Sometimes I catch myself in the role of needing to be right or having to win a battle of wits. (I never win, though)

I suppose regret is what motivates you to be better. I feel very sorry for the people that regret being dishonest, or lay in bed knowing they have deceived. We have all been in that spot at one time or another and it sucks.

I'm not sure where this came from tonight, but I urge everyone, including myself, to treat the last person of the day as good as the first person.

HOLY COW! Wasn't meaning to get that deep.

Our 2003 Explorer has about 100,000 miles on it. For the first time in it's life, I am taking it for some motor repairs. I don't think I can really complain about that.

To our servicemembers below the terrain, Happy Submarine Day! Thank You!

Thank you Josh and Mary for shackin us up Saturday. Good to see Rose too.

Well, Thanks for stopping by. I don't have alot on my mind tonight. Tomorrow is the Pillsbury Doughboys B-day. That interests me a bit. I may look into that and get to ya.

Late

You Know I Couldn't Let This One Go!

This day in 1781, someone finally discovered URANUS! URANUS is HUGE! It's four times the diameter of Earth to be exact. URANUS is cold. (-350 degrees F) That is one chilly URANUS!

I found a great cutaway chart entitled "Inside Uranus"! (giggle to myself)

I could go on and on.........

Happy Birthday Uncle Sam!

Happy Birthday Mom!

P U

Happy National Baked Scallops Day!

Wait for the Moment..

I must be dumb. In a previous post I dogged the show Moment of Truth. Well guess what... I just watched it again. It irritates me. Megan and I talk about the questions. It becomes clear to us that if you react to the "shocking" answer at face value, it's just that... shocking. But if you think about it for a minute and realize how non-specific some questions are, it's not so dramatic. Think outside the box.


Oh yeah, can you believe he "CRUSHED" his family and "DESTROYED" his wife?
Frickin FOX. ----->

A couple news stories caught my eye today:

In Kansas, some dudes gilfriend refused to come out of the bathroom for TWO YEARS! Better then that... she was on the crapper. Her skin grew around the toilet seat. Her boyfriend called when he thought the was "something wrong" with her... 2 years later. UMmmmmm.....gross

In Texas, a husband, wife, 6, and 8 year old stopped to get gas. Dad is paying and mom takes both kids to the freeway overpass. She drops em off like the Cosby kids going swimming. Into rush hour off 22 feet. Then she jumps.

Dads just trying to pay for gas and sneak a MadDog.

Everybody survives! That is nothing less then a miracle! What would happen to me if I threw myself onto the freeway?

BTW, I'm running for Governer of NY. Gallinger'08

Sometimes I can't believe how fortunate I am in so many ways. More specifically tonight, my folks have let me offload my canopy and trailer at their house. Both were very short notice. Thank you.

Speaking of trailers, I just got a utility trailer. I want to welcome y'all to use it if you need it. It's 6.5' x 14'. Seriously... please use it if you want it.

I'm Out

.

Stand Back! I Can Do It!

Cooper got her scheduled Rabies shot today. First one in 4 years. Hope she never bit you. Kidding.

I got this book today! Home Improvement for Dummies! I'm a Dummy! Perfect! I'm excited. Anyway.. I am not handy. This book is actually 8 Dummy books in one and I am going to start making tables and replacing tubs AT ONCE! I said GOOD DAY! sorry

DummyCan I please get some feedback on this one. I went to the store today. I just said NO to paper or plastic. I got my own cloth yam sachel to carry my groceries. I proudly carried my eco-friendly bag out of the store and got into......... my Triton V-10. Then I used a gallon of dinosaur just getting home. Do you all mock people like me? I'm an ass, huh?

My 2003 Explorer takes E-85, so as soon as those stations come closer we will use them. My same year pickup does not. I guess I should look into conversion. Are cars that swing both ways called Bi-FlexFuals ( bi . flex . fu . alls ) Ha! I crack me up!

K, done. You're welcome.

What's your problem?

Wow, I guess I just realized it has been something like 10 days since the last time I have enlightened you all. Well, since nobody is complaining I guess it's no biggie.

I think I have had a pretty uneventful and even keel past couple weeks. I apologize for missing a few very important celebrations recently. Yep, you know what I'm talking about.

Banana Cram Pie Day, National Poundcake Day, National Chocolate Cheesecake Day, and the anniversaries of the parachute and the Boston Massacre. BTW, there is an underground tavern VERY close to the scene of the Boston Massacre that Josh and I would highly reccomend if you are on a budget.

Since we are all here and excited about March 7th, allow me to be the first to welcome you this day in history when the telephone was patented. What? You're breaking up. Can you hear me now? Hello? .......I said the telephone.. huh? Crap.. call me back.

I would like to introduce you to the newest member of our family!

There were no complications during the delivery and she has all four wheels and tires! (I counted) Megan has yet to name her, I'll keep you updated.

Twice in my career I have been working in the back of an ambulance unbuckled when there has been a sudden stop. This basically hurls you forward at the speed the rig was moving , simple physics. The second time was years ago and sent me home from work with pain meds. I believe this is one of the most dangerous aspects of the work, but often times it is impossible to do your job buckled into one spot. I think I was heading somewhere with this story......

Yesterday I was driving my ambulance to the hospital with my partner and a patient in the back. As I approached an intersection, the light went amber and I continued through. It turned red before I cleared and was caught on camera by a Police car. I didn't get cited, but got a talking to when I got back. The cop called my Captain, who was understanding and was able to relate to my side of the story, but still had to pass on the word.

When we are driving, we frequently have to make snap judgements on whether we should hit the brakes, risking the safety of our partner in the back. I knew it was safer to continue in this case. I would like to urge drivers not to assume this happens because we feel like we have special right of ways or are above the law.

If you see it happen, please give the benefit of the doubt and rest assured somebody will still report it and we will still get talked to:) OK, gimme a sec while I jump off this soapbox real quick....

Before my wife left for work this morning, she said," Please be productive today!"

She didn't specify her definition of "productive".

I better go

Two for the price of one!!

Billy Mays was selling this food spinner or chopper or whatever it was on TV. BUT WAIT! If you call now, your order will be DOUBLED! Nobody would ever need two of these things. Oh, and by the way, there's no such thing as a free lunch. You still have to pay inflated S&H on the "free" one that probably rivals the actual price. ( no, I didn't call to order )

This is a good offer if you share costs with someone else or want to give one as a gift. I'm not really sure why I'm talking about this, guess it was just on my mind. BAM!


We had a nice time seeing a few people Sunday for an engagement gathering for Mike and Ali. I must thank Alison for showing us it's OK to chase whiskey shots with Champange.

Speaking of nuts, happy Natioal Pistachio Day! Also, happy birthday Levi Strauss. You are dead.

I watched Moment of Truth on TV last night. I am familiar with suspense tactics used by these kinds of shows to keep you watching, but come on. Anybody else see this? The show would be on for 3-5minutes at a time, then a teaser for the next segment. Then 5 minutes of commercials. ( yes, one of my co-workers was timing it ) When they came back, they replayed 1-2 minutes of the previous segment before moving on to next new 2 miniutes. Then the exact same teaser followed by commercials. I honestly bet they only used 15-20 minutes of material in an hour.

It was supposed to be dramatic I guess, but it was cheesy and boring. They had the host do a special monolouge on how uncomfortable he was and how he urged the station not to air it. It's a good thing the media doesn't think we are all idiots! Baaa Baaa

My Bitch is getting restless, so I'm going to go take her for a walk. LATE!

It's Bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!

The Buddhists must have known they were on to something good. They started writing about it in 600 BC. Alexander the Great, the Chinese, Islams, Palestines, and Portuguese all jumped on the band wagon over the years too.

Yes, I am refering to that slightly curved yellow phallus we all love.... the banana. BTW, the word banana comes from an Arabic word meaning "finger."

You may find yourself asking, " where is he going with this?"

Well, today is National Banana Bread Day! The way I see it, without the invention of banana bread, we would never have discovered bananas! MMMM, Yummy in my tummy!

Today I chose to celebrate the naner instead of writing about the barbaric way in which we humans treat bananas. OK, I'll make it short. It starts out nice with the whole banana gang in a bunch together. We buy them and tear them apart from their family. We then proceed to snap thier neck off and slowly peel their skin from their fragile bodies. Once we have exposed their guts, we take our razor sharp teeth and tear them apart... piece by piece. They are then forced to endure hours in our digestive tract before we get rid of them. This takes a toll on them and they end up looking like crap. :)

Enjoy your banana bread! GOOD DAY!

How Old Are You!?

Quickly, before I forget, I wanted to give a couple birthday shoutouts to some of my peeps out there keepin it real.

Since I will be away from the computer tomorrow, 2/22/08,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!

Pebbles Flintstone!George Washington!

Recent News

The Lumberjax won Sunday. There was blood.

I picked up my canopy today for the riceburner. Its nice. I'm moving in today. Can you put a urinal in those things?

We painted the living room. I hate painting. My first job at 14 was painting. I hate painting. It looks good. I hate painting.

We went to Sunriver a couple weeks ago. There was snow. It was cold. It's winter. I think everyone had a great time and remember to let some air out of the tires when you ride a bike in the snow. Frank is a ROCK STAR!

Today is National Sticky Bun Day! (Feb 21) I could make a whole seperate post regarding the term "sticky buns", and depending on how tonight goes I may just do it. Don't tempt me. Stop it! Remember, nuts are optional. (according to the recipe) hold me back.....

I have a feeling you'll hear from me again today DA Da da

It's Electricifying!

Last night at work I had a very fun dream! ( no, I didn't have to change my sheets ) I was flying a very fast jet over an urban sprawl. Mary, what does that mean? Anyway, I was going way too fast for my comfort level and had no idea how to stop. I began climbing and noticed power lines.. alot of power lines. I hit about 400 of them and as I was clearing the last line I awoke.

Where I work, sleep is very hard to come by, and when you get awakened it is not a peaceful thing. A very loud beep penetrates your brain followed by a strangers voice telling you it's time to make a house call. At the same time the lights above your bed turn on and bells ring.

Since I was already scared crapless in my dream, the extra ado in real life made me wish for some Depends. I wonder how far I would have gone in that jet. I wonder if I would have severed a Swiss ski lift line. I wonder if I would have ejected and landed at Hef's mansion. I wonder if I would have soared past a glass elevator until I totally eclipsed the moon in an attempt to shoot down a spy satellite.

Anybody see those newly discovered sea spiders on the news? Creepy. I wonder how you get on the board in charge of naming those things.

Does anybody know where I can find a rock version cover of the song Mandy? Do you think there's an afro version? Ooohhhh... Shaniqua, you came and you took without giving.

Congrats Krista and Guy!
Congrats Mike and Ali!

I'm really glad I'm so cool.

Blurry

Hi. It's been a while. I've been busy. Relax your crack.
I don't really know where to start, so I won't. I am going to post again soon, just wanted to touch base. ( third base..ya )
I am feeling a little down about my upcoming work week. Thank goodness I get to work with awesome people and really big toys.
I hope you are all doing well and you don't die this week! Later

Bathroom Cam

I've been away from the Puter for a few days, so when I sat down to check my Me-Mail today I ended up typing and typin and typing.... Don't worry dear, I've kept the laundry going.

Anyway, I've been thinking bout installing cameras on the EXTERIOR only of my house.
So relax.

I just thought I'd take this oppurtunity to let you know in case you were peeping at me through the windows.

Don't know when, don't know where. Could be soon.

That's the last you will hear about that.

Go Patriots!

12 years ago.. well, almost 13

13 years ago, I quit high school. I went to a local school here in East County with a pretty low student population, classwise. That is, I believe, what makes the following story so interesting.

I went to the grocery store this morning in Salem after work. As I was finishing up, I heard someone behind me say, "hey!" I very vaugely thought I recognized this person, but had no clue why. He approached me and asked me if I lived in East County. I said yes. He asked if I was a firefighter. I said yes. ( I realize now that I was wearing union attire. ) He proceeded to give me this story about how he remembered me and knew my name, though he wasn't sure how. His car broke down in the parking lot, the next bus to the EC wasn't for four more hours, and the taxi ride was going to cost almost 50 bucks. He wanted a ride home.

I still had to go to Costco before returning home, and since I hate shopping, figured a cart pusher couldn't hurt. So we went to Costco, he pushed my cart, ( or whatever the kids call it these days ) and then I took him home. ( to his house, where I dropped him off, no money exchanged, enough innuendos..)

Turns out he was a Senior when I was a Freshman and we had nothing to do with each other. He also ended being in one of my college classes before moving to P-town and getting married. His wife died a few years ago from an illness that I had growing up. He knows the guy I bought my truck from. He moved back to the EC, only a few blocks from where I live.

We probably met 13 years ago, but only remembered each others faces and nothing else.

I think it's important to share stories like this because it is a good reminder ( at least for me ) that sometimes things from your past can resurface, good or bad. Has anybody reading this ever said something like, " I don't care, I'll never see them again anyway."? I have.

Line This!

I got a bedliner last week for my little riceburner. It got sprayed in. I can't take it out. It has a lifetime warrenty, which got me thinking...
What else could I get sprayed to make it last my entire lifetime?
Think about it.

The name of the company is Line-X. I see at least 2 or 3 of their logo stickers on the back of trucks everyday, which got me thinking...
If I have already paid for the product, why should I provide free advertising for them?



I was going to put a picture of the logo on this blog so we could all be aware of what it looks like when we are driving, which got me thinking...
If I don't want to advertise for them, why would I put another image of their logo on the World Wide Web for the Wide Web World viewers to see all over the world?


ooops, it slipped ( BTW, that's the first time I've ever said that )

I'm very tired

Viva Vivian!

Happy B-day Vivian!

Always love the ones that take care of you, never critizice them for trying, be understanding of their weaknesses and know that none of us are perfect even though we think we are. Healthy comptition is good, but remember there is always somebody that looks better. The grass is almost never greener over there at the Mustang Ranch! :)
Appreciate that there will be people that disagree with you, and know that if everyone had the same opinion life would be boring.
No matter which path you travel, certain people will love you unconditionally and wish the best for you.

In the words of a country song.. I hope you dance.

Placing blame never makes either side happy. Never lose that smile! Give the benefit of the doubt.. even when there's lots of doubt.

Things can change fast, be ready and be resilient. Most importantly, be you.

Again, Happy Birthday Vivian!

You goin my way?

If I'm on cruise control, and you pass me, then I pass you, then you pass me, then I pass you.... Don't look at me like I'm an idiot. I will smile and wave because..... I'm on cruise!

Coincidence?

I brought home Hairspray tonight. I am watching it right now. I was just informed that another well known and liked blogger just wrote about this recently. Alls I gots to say is...... I think every day should be Negro day!!!!

On another note, It was afrotastic to see most of the family today for lunch! My Nephew Tyler cracks me up when he bursts into random laughter! My Niece Chloe is becoming a middle-schooler very soon, although you'd think she's graduated high school already.

Topics of conversation today:

Chloe is excited to get to middle school and have a locker. It is exciting at first.. then you realize the reason you have a storage shelf is because you have too many text books to carry. Too many binders and too much home work. That's just my opinion, and I know the only reason you stop here on your WWW voyage is for a dose of my opinion. :) Thanks to understanding parents and a horrible attendance record, I was able to leave high school at 16. I recommed it to anybody that has issues with schedules and structures. Now I only work ten days a month!!

OK, I'll step down now...

Second topic:

Chloe had the oppurtunity to attend a birthday party at Chuck E Cheeses today. We had a discussion. Actually, let me throw this out there.. and please comment regarding this issue if you have thoughts....

Chuck E Cheese is a restaurant. It is geared toward children and families. I have many good memories from my childhood from there. ( like when Chuck scared the crap out ot my gramma B )

Alot of their success is built on their mascot Chuck. Chuck is a RAT! Whos brilliant idea was it to

market a rat as a restaurant mascot? And be successful!!?

As I've said before.... WTF?

One last thing tonight...

Hypothetically, with no reference to actual people or events..

If you run your car through a building with people in it, make sure they take the fall for you when you run away. Keep your stories straight and find a better hiding place then the local shrub. If somebody rats you out, make sure you take care of it.

G'nite

I have nothing to say except..

It seems you were not able to post comments here unless you had an account. I have changed that, so feel free to type away.

Oh ya... I wanna give a shout out to T-Rex and all his Dino buddies for allowing me to utilize the power of the Triton V10.

Mary, please assure the kids the dinosaurs didn't die in vain and we will pay homage by visiting the PreHistoric Gardens.

Roar! Or whatever they say...

Poor me :(

Not that I would ever wish to have the Honda gone in the manner it all went down...... Ya Know.. with the injured wife and all...

But....

SCORE!

picture taken on public street / no person or animal was injured in the taking of this picture / do not attempt to take this picture at home because it's not your truck / i do not endorse crashing your car, it looks painful / please do not drool on your computer while ogling ( yes dear, I spellchecked ) my truck as you may be electrocuted and die

Thank you, and goodnight

Huh?

Is there any point to asking several questions when you only need one answer?

What are you doing tonight? Oh, that sounds fun.. you going to be there for a while? Sweet.. where you headed after that? Really? I thought that place went out of business. Well, cool. You'll probably be tired after that and ready for bed, huh? No? You thinking you are up for something else afterwards? OK.. wanna do something?

TRANSLATION:

Hey, I'm going bowling tonight.. you in?

Yes: Sweet, see you there at 8.
No: OK, catch ya next time

I had a class today. A refresher on Emergency pediatric care. We were doing scenarios and several people kept asking questions like... Is the baby breathing? What does it's skin color look like? Are it's pupils fixed? When was it last seen?
That's good, it's all stuff you look for and necessary questions.... eventually.
My theory... KISS
My question... Is the kid dead? Instructor awnser.... yes enough said, scenario over
Ahhhh.. the power of concise questions.
Think about it next time you feel like beating around the bush. Personally, the more questions I get asked, the more irritated I get and you never know what may escape my lips!!
Nuuuwaaahahahaha

White Powder Scare

Snowing super hard now. I would estimate 2 inches in last 2 hours with no end in sight. Driving home from work this morning, I took the Cascade Hwy offramp. ( Power Chevy ) As I came to the stop sign, I applied my brakes and....... slid all the way through the stop sign and to the other side of the highway. I recovered, made a right towards ARCO and turned left at the light. Except when I turned left, I actually kept going straight. You get the point.

It's a very nice change of scenery.

Off to pick up my new pickup!
Later Bizatches

L to the J

By the way, Lumberjax lost last night in overtime to Colorado. One of the best games I have been to, edge of your seat, back and forth all game. ( don't tell my wife cause she is bummed she couldn't go )
A huge thanks to Amy and Ira for getting me there and home safely, buying me dinner and good company all around! Iras keen eye spotted a Bullet ( balding mullet ) in the crowed that only enhanced the experience.

I really missed my wife and the Williams, but rest assured I yelled out COTTON CANDY! a few times to keep their spirits alive.

Would it kill the Rose Garden to throw up some dividers between the urinals? Too much kack, too close together.

Onramp/Offramp

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it has always been my assumption that freeway ramps are long for a reason. Oh, I don't know, maybe so you don't have to slow down while on the freeway, or have to merge slowly into traffic.

anyway.... heard an interesting question last night that you guys may have already heard...

What did Jesus ever do for Santa Clauses birthday?

Hmmm

I want to express my opinions on some things that don't really matter. I encourage you to send comments with questions you would like common sense replys to. In the meantime I will feel free to write as I please.

Wheel of Fortune tonight:
UNL-ADI-G THE DI-H-A-HER.. ( or something very close to that )

I would like to solve!!! EMPTYING THE DISHWASHER!

wtf